Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Death, Dying, and Blogging

I have written and rewritten this post many times, it is hard to put into words how I am feeling right now and why I haven't been blogging.  So, I am just going to say it type it - my dad died.  He died at the beginning of the month and the past month has been a blur.  A blur of cards, an obituary, ashes, sub plans, family drama (his family has been a pain), and stuff that seems to be growing by the day. In the past month I have had to explain what surgery is, fight for my dad's last wishes to be followed, and explain what passed away means to my first graders.  It has been a hard month.

My dad had a fall off his 4-wheeler and ended up in the hospital with a broken hip at the end of last month.  He has had health problems for the past 12 years including hearts attacks, open heart surgery, lung problems, heart problems, a major car accident, trouble breathing, and did I mention heart problems?  A major car accident five years ago left him in tremendous pain and unable to walk without a cane or a walker.  He has just not been the same since the accident.  After this fall he needed surgery to repair or replace his hip and all of his health issue made the surgery complicated, but he got through the surgery and got off the ventilator in only a few hours.  He was doing great.  Then, he just tanked.  Maybe he got tired or it was too much for him - both of which I completely understand.  He was clear with the doctor that he did not want to be hooked up to a machine again, including the ventilator and he did not want to be resuscitated if his heart were to stop.  On the morning of his death, he looked up and saw that we were there and then he quickly and peacefully passed.  He was ready to go and he is in a much better place now.  He is not in any pain anymore and he gets to hang out with grandpa (his dad).

But, that doesn't mean that it is easy for my brother, sister, and me (and the rest of the family) - we still miss our dad. 

Some AMAZING things have happened in the past month too that I can't wait to share with you!  So, bear with me as I take the time to get my head above water. 

12 comments:

LindaG said...

*hugs* ♥ God bless. Take all the time you need.

Kim Ricketts said...

Sarah, you have been through so much. I know it will be hard but please know we are here for you! Sending happy thoughts and hugs your way!

Jan said...

Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

Leslie said...

I know I'm miles away, but I understand in so many ways. My mom died when I was in college. It was a sudden heart attack, but she hadn't been healthy due to other medical issues. That didn't make it any easier. My mom and I weren't that close, but that doesn't mean I don't miss her and that I wasn't sad. Take all the time you need. Soak up the faith of the children around you. After anyone's death, my kids make it easier because of seeing their faith. It never fails to surprise me when they tell me "Don't worry mommy, so and so is with Jesus". Makes me cry just thinking about it. Take time. Heal. While you'll never completely get over the loss of a parent, you will be able to move on. It just takes time. Good luck.

Brandi Buzzard said...

Oh my goodness - I'm so sorry for your loss. Many many prayers and good thoughts to you and your family. Stay strong and God Bless.

Nicole said...

Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry! But just remember, take care of yourself, we'll all be here.

Colleen Cecil said...

Sarah, I know it took great strength to write this post. I wish for you and Shannon and the rest of your family strength and peace as you heal. Sending lots of big hugs.

Dawson Cattle Company said...

thats so hard. losing a parent when you have so much to do and say is never an easy thing. i hope that you can find peace in knowing that he is no longer in pain and that one day you will be reunited to the best of places. hugs to you!

Jensamom23 said...

Oh, Sarah. I am so sorry for your loss and all that you have had to endure. I am praying for all of your family. Hugs.

Renee said...

Sarah, I am very sorry. You are all in my thoughts.

Sarah said...

THANK YOU ALL!!!

Katie @ Pinke Post said...

Sarah, I commented on Facebook but never one here and just wanted you to know you have been in my thoughts during your loss and as well as times of joy. Take care dear friend!

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